Ponderisms | physicalwreck's Blog

  o I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die
of natural causes..

 o There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

 o Life is sexually transmitted.

 o Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 o The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

 o Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.

 o Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days, no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to?

 o Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

 o All of us could take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to
criticism.

 o In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it
 normal.

 o How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?

 o Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things and drink whatever
 comes out?"

 o If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

 o Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

 o Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?